The latest hot story on my favorite Chinese Internet scandal sheet, chinaSMACK, involves a video of a woman telling off her (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend on a subway in Beijing. It’s not the activity itself that stands out — I mean, we’ve all been there. Rather it is what the woman says that has captured people’s attention. Among the many things she screams at her boyfriend, who sits silent and unmoving, sweatshirt hood over his head, is that, “A man without money is garbage”(“男人没钱就是垃圾！”: Nan ren mei qian jiu shi laji).
That’s a literal translation, and it is worth pausing a few moments over its implications. There seems two ways the woman could mean this. The first would be that it is a man’s duty and obligation to work and that this is what her boyfriend is failing to do. I read a story by one of my favorite writers, Sherman Alexie, and one of the lines that stayed with was, “because he was a man, he had to work.” True that. In any case, a man who cannot support himself and his loved ones probably feels like garbage anyway. And if all she is asking for is a minimal level of support, then I say, “You go girl” (怎么说中文？). One of the most popular traits that women on this site are looking for in a man is “responsibility” (有责任: you zeren), which among other things invariably includes financial responsibility. This, as I said, seems like a fair thing to ask of any man.
But there is another sense in which the phrase could be taken. According to this way, what the woman means is that “A man without a LOT of money is garbage.” There are both linguistic and cultural reasons for believing this is the way the woman intended the phrase. Linguistically the phrase “you qian” （有钱） refers to someone who is wealthy. So to say a man who is “Mei qian”（没钱）is garbage is to imply that what the man lacks is a LOT of money. But more important are the cultural indicators that this is what was intended. There is the now infamous incident on the dating show “If you are the one,” where one of the female contestants told a male suitor that she would rather “cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle.” With this in mind, the comments section for the chinaSMACK story makes it clear that this is how the majority of Chinese netizens interpreted it:
“ I rather sympathize with him. In this era where money is supreme and we laugh at the poor but not prostitutes, what can young people do.”
“Many women are like this, it’s just that this girl showed it. Those women who are more skilled hide it. It can also be said that this man got lucky, getting to see clearly and split up. Men must remember when looking for a wife, don’t go after those who upon leaving school don’t care about a career and just want to start a family. Those are not looking for husbands, they’re looking for fathers.”
“To the male comrade in the video, hello. I am a soldier. After watching this video, I truly feel sorrow for you. As a man, you can not have money, but you can have dignity. I too am often ridiculed, but I never get discouraged. If I were you, I would say to this money worshiping girl: “I indeed don’t have money, but I have what money cannot buy, and that is dignity. Since you think me poor and have suggested breaking up, then let’s break up. I can endure poverty but I can’t endure humiliation. Goodbye, money worshiping girl!!!” Brother, if you’re man, then get back up and start again.”
In English we have the term Rorschach Test, which refers to a psychological test in which a subject’s impressions of inkblots are analyzed to provide clues into his personality. I've included one below. However, the phrase is used in a much more general sense to refer to a situation or event in which we are more interested in the reaction of the individual to the event than we are in the event itself. In this sense, this scene strikes me as a small but significant Rorschach Test. We will see in it what we want to see.
Interesting sum-up of the situation, although I suspect that both are 'media beat-ups'. Certainly the 'If You Are The One' is a blatant ploy at ratings by a small-town model Ma Nuo and a TV show made supremely popular by this type of comment!
I also suspect that the 'subway' one is also some type of social comment since the filming was very steady (hardly voyeuristic filming) and quite open and maybe not on a handphone (higher quality) and she managed to finish at exactly the correct time to alight the train at the station - maybe conveniently argued...but I somehow doubt it!
My take on it was she was indicating what her parents and family would think of him - rather than her actual 'ideas' about him! - with the 'New Year Boyfriend Exposition' coming up soon - it sounds like she was exasperated by his inability to find/hold down work!
Even if it wasn't fake - we don't know the real situation - she is made out to be a 'money-grabbing tyrant' but maybe there is another story - is he mooching off her? Is she paying all the rent and food while he gambles and plays mahjiang? Who knows...
Maybe my ink dot's aren't interpreted the same as others interpret theirs!
The finality of this consumerist based waste with all its baubles dangled in front of its shell shocked believers has been felt for some time now... then! I suppose the real meaning of life, love and happiness may hit home....
Nowadays women suppose to be equal with men! Men don't get to boss woman around because they are the only ones bring home money. Women are capable to bring home money too! Maybe more than men!
Am I crazy or we are just going back to the old times now? Maybe rich man should have a few wives again if everything is about the money?