I don't know how, but I think I have come across the guy with 3 women wanting to marry him that YayaLiu wrote about in her blog "Women Actually Have Much Stupid". Two of the women this guy is wooing now know about him and each other. But instead of getting mad at this guy for misleading them, they bicker amongst themselves about who is this man's woman! After talking with my wife, maybe these women will never learn. I will not mince words...Maybe YayaLiu is correct. Chinese women can be very stupid! All I do know is that this dude is a scumbag. Pure and simple. He is misleading good Chinese women to believe they are the only one for him. He is not alone. I'm privy to other women used by other scumbags too. So allow me to list a few of the scumbag tactics that men use to charm Chinese women. Pay close attention, you traditional Chinese women, because you are the easiest targets for a scumbag.
Talks of love before meeting you.
I have spoke about this so many times that I'm now sick of saying it. WAIT until you MEET and spend time together. Enough said. Don't be a fool to rush or suffer the consequences.
Only meets you for sex.
If the man is only meeting you for a night of sex and then gone, what does that tell you? If all you are doing is spending time in the hotel room having sex and hardly much else, then it is obvious what kind of relationship you are in! You are just a "BOOTY CALL" to him. A sex call. Nothing more. No you are not his girlfriend you are more like his sex friend or friend with benefits. You are his bitch to use as he sees. He will leave you when he is done. He does not consider you worthy to spend time together outside of the bedroom to learn about you. SO WAKE UP!
Did you check his passport; his flight itinerary?
If you have suspicions, check his passport and see if he landed in China on the date that his flight was supposed to land. This is one sure way to catch a man who may be flying to meet other women before you. Let me set the record straight, I do not think it is wrong if a man is trying to meet more than one woman from CLM (ChinaLoveMatch), but he should be honest about it with the women he is visiting. If he is lying and visiting you on Saturday, but his passport reads that he flew in the country a week or two earlier, well then, can it be any easier to know he is a lying scumbag and you are being played for a fool?? Also, you may be the first woman he meets. So it may match up for the entry date, but check his departure date stamp. Have him show his passport and US entry stamp when he gets home on the webcam to see if it matches his flight leaving the country. It is very possible he flew to meet another woman after you. Too many women THINK they are the only woman a man is seeing. Not true.
Many gifts and money.
Why would a man you have never met be buying you gifts or sending you money all the time? Sure flowers and a cake gift for a special occasion is a nice romantic gesture, but if you are being wooed by multiple gifts, some more expensive than others. You have to question his motives. Men do not just willingly give money to women he has not met without expecting something in return. Does he do this to guarantee sex from you when he visits? Women do not need to be bought, but some guys think treating a woman to many gifts is a sure way into a women's panties. Because his gifts can be a means to get to an end. He buys you gifts upon gifts and you are happy and will hopefully return the favor in the hotel bedroom. HELLO?! I know this is traditional for Chinese men showing they can take care of a woman, but you are dealing with a western man. And they do not have this mentality. Generosity is nice, but it can also seem like he is trying to BUY your affection!
Webcam-sex chats.
Webcam sex... well if he's asking you to show your body, you can damn well bet he is asking other women to show their bodies on webcam chats too! A woman more flirtatious online only means easier sex for him when he comes to visit. Find a sexually open women online and it is a sure bet he will be hot and ready for you. Just take your clothes off at his hotel door. Or you can try to be smart and KNOW not to SHOW until you KNOW he is not a scumbag!
He cares for you the most and the other women do not matter.
There you are...you got him caught red-handed. The evidence is undeniable. You know he's got other women. He may even be bold enough to be HONEST and say, "Yes, I did have sex with her." but he will add, "But she does not mean anything to me. You are all that matters. The rest are just bitches and I don't care for them at all. Just sex...I make love to you...Blah, blah, blah!" Do you continue to believe him? Of course you do, because you are so gullible. So forgiving. Prepare for more hurt in your future. Don't be a fool. Spot the signs.
He disappeared online or too busy before flying to visit you.
Now it can't get anymore obvious for you: You are chatting with a man for months and months on a daily basis, but 1 to 2 weeks prior before he visits you he disappears online. His messages to you are quick and brief. All of a sudden he is very busy and has no time for you? Something is up! WAKE UP! HELLO?!! He may already be in China spending time elsewhere with who knows who! Find out as soon as this scumbag steps off the airport gate. CHECK THE PASSPORT DATE STAMP! No man is too busy that he can't take 5 minutes of his time to have a chat and webcam you the few days before his visit. Check the background on his webcam. Same place? If he has disappeared,you have a right to be suspicious. Because it doesn't make any sense. SOMETHING IS WRONG! Don't be a fool! You may have a scumbag.
Calls you late at night.
Why is he suddenly calling you only at late night hours to talk? Does it make sense to you? Notice his time and yours. If he's in China, but calling you at 1am you need to ask yourself, why? Is he creeping into a China hotel bathroom while his other woman is sleeping? Sounds out of the ordinary, there is probably more to his oddball actions. Seriously, think...
His stories and words add up to lies and more lies.
If you are catching him lying more than once it is time to ask yourself how much is enough until you can realize in your thick-ass bonehead that the man is a scumbag? What more evidence do you need to finally accept that the man you are talking is not worthy of your time and effort anymore? Are you that desperate? Are you that weak? You can recognize this guy for the fool he is or choose to be the fool and continue getting hurt! He is lying for a reason. Your choice to be the fool or end it with a fool.
I'll do anything for you.
Even after you catch him cheating and lying he still says, "I will do anything for you!" Haahaaa! Yes, he will do anything for you, including sexing other women. Hey but it's ok, you love him right?! Well let's see how you like it if he passes on a sexually transmitted disease to you. See how your love for him is then! But you were the fool to not heed the signals. A man who is a scumbag will say anything to make you less mad at him. "I will do anything for you, my love!" Do you still believe him? I am shaking my head, "Aiyaaah, tschewww! You are such a bonehead!"
Final Discovery...
I could just end this here, but after caught up in the back-story of a couple of women's scumbag scenarios, the sad realization is that Chinese women, especially those with traditional values, will still have hope that the scumbag will change for them. I didn't realize that trying to help a Chinese woman in love can be futile! Well no more...
Seeing me frustrated, my wife broke it down to me, "Bren, your words fall on deaf ears to a Chinese woman who feels they love a man. Chinese women will always be stupid in love. Always be stupid when thinking with their hearts. Even when the evidence shows he is a scumbag. It makes no difference. A Chinese women will forgive and subject themselves to his lies. They will suffer the hurt and betrayal over and over again. They will ignore your advice. They will continue to think stupidly and continue to believe the man is good. It is only when they can take the hurt no longer will they understand." And by that time the damage is done.
So I'm done. I chose not to hear any more rantings of the scumbags that Chinese women tell me about. I can warn them and then I am done. You choose the path to walk down. The lack of self-respect for a Chinese woman subjecting themselves to a scumbag is stunning. Chinese women are loyal, but loyal to a fault. They only end up hurting themselves in the end. All I can say is, "I TOLD YOU SO!" What a shame. I think Chinese women should start learning a little about American women who do not tolerate such foolishness from men.
As for the scumbags...
Unfortunately, there is still room for you in China! Hurry up now, Mr. Scumbag, because sooner or later the Chinese women will get wise. Let's hope she does not put a damn knife in your chest while you sleep! That's right, think of that deeply and let the twinge of fear and concern creep inside you. You should feel a bit nervous. No telling what a scorned woman will do to you. Because you and I both know, you reap what you sow!
Most of Chinese woman are loyal in love and relationship,I wish all nice woman here can read the suggestion and warning here before you try to find the right guy, to avoid hurt before it happen. Maybe some one will say " I really have nothing to lose, I had no money and I am not sexy."No, you are wrong, feeling hurt is much worse than be cheating in money or body, it will destroy all your confidence to trust the life and love, it will effect you long life or even your whole life.
A scumbag is bad not just they cheating, the worst they destroy the trust.
Good luck everyone, open your eye, use your brain and find the right one.
Your words are very helpful and I hope many Chinese women take a moment to understand your important and valuable comment! Because I know I can not get through a woman who is already locked into a bad situation with a scumbag. Unfortunately the few women I speak to will have learn the hard way until they can not tolerate the hurt and pain any longer.
We all make our own bed and will have to lie in it. The question is,
"What do you prefer? A messy, dirty uncomfortable bed, or a clean, honest and good bed?"
I agree... there are many scumbag women too! Not many as compared to the men, but they do exist. Thankfully you had a good angel buy your side in the interpreter and lucky you to ended up with with her instead of the scumbag woman. Congrats and I hope you are happy my man.
Unfortunately, I can't chat with the men on here. CLM does not allow same gender communication. There were too many men bitching at each other over talking to the same women. :) Haahaa! I don't blame CLM for such a rule, but your comment was a great blog in itself! The fact that you needed an intepreter, would have made me second guess such an interaction and devotion. Also, falling for someone and claiming such love and devotioin you have not ever met in person is a NO-NO! I don't care how long you have been chatting online. I talk against such actions ALL THE TIME. Meet and Greet before talk of Love & Marriage!
Thank goodness you had a savior! Enjoy those tasty dishes! - Bren
I agree... there are many scumbag women too! Not many as compared to the men, but they do exist. Thankfully you had a good angel buy your side in the interpreter and lucky you to ended up with with her instead of the scumbag woman. Congrats and I hope you are happy my man.
Unfortunately, I can't chat with the men on here. CLM does not allow same gender communication. There were too many men bitching at each other over talking to the same women. :) Haahaa! I don't blame CLM for such a rule, but your comment was a great blog in itself! The fact that you needed an intepreter, would have made me second guess such an interaction and devotion. Also, falling for someone and claiming such love and devotioin you have not ever met in person is a NO-NO! I don't care how long you have been chatting online. I talk against such actions ALL THE TIME. Meet and Greet before talk of Love & Marriage!
Thank goodness you had a savior! Enjoy those tasty dishes! - Bren
Some are good in nature, some are angels and devil's incarnates.
I am good in nature. I met him, so I have to face him, have to do with it, and then I can put it down. Now I have put it down, thrown it into the The Pacific Ocean.
I am not desperate,though I had some dark days and nights.
Thank you,Bren.