Cover from Joe Weber's book "Targets of Opportunity".
A foreigner doesn’t need to be in China very long to notice everywhere a daily abundance of “Targets of Opportunity”. While this can be an advantage, or a plus, those in-country have over those relegated to developing relationships purely online, it has some downsides.
So what is a "Target of Opportunity" as it relates to internet and real-life meetings?
American Cultural Focus:
According to Wikipedia,
“ Target of opportunity” is a military term used to describe a target which, in a combat scenario, is presented or presents itself as a possible target in addition to those targets considered to be primary targets of any particular military operation.
In preparation for most ordinary combat military operations, soldiers are given a series of objectives which may include one or more primary targets.
During combat operations, an additional target or additional targets may be present. Provided any action to deal with those targets would not compromise outlined operational objectives, the military personnel in question may elect to designate each additional potential target as a target of opportunity.
As the name suggests, these targets are only dealt with if the opportunity to do so arises in the course of normal operational activities. Operational objectives and primary target allocation will generally not be altered to account for a target of opportunity unless that target is reviewed by a commanding officer and receives a higher target value designation; e.g. if identifiers reveal the target to be a designated high-value target.
The term is also sometimes used in a non-military context to describe an alternative course of action considered easier than a previously agreed, approved or assumed action. “
Being in-country, or boots on the ground, does have its advantages over being relegated to only online meetings and conversations. There are daily opportunities to meet people in real life, possibly converse, maybe develop friendships and even a romantic relationship. “Targets of opportunity” can be found while shopping, in restaurants, bars or chance meetings.
Since my arrival in China in March 2007, I’ve tended to distance myself from most foreigners for a variety of reasons that I may enumerate in a future Blog. Many foreigners come to China, especially in the largest cities, like Shanghai or Guangzhou, and stay in their own little foreign cliques, or comfort zones, which is identical to what foreigners did over 100 years ago in China’s history. No wonder many Chinese people believe ALL foreigners have this distant and aloof attitude.
To the contrary, I’ve gravitated to forging relationships with Chinese people. Many of my ideas and beliefs about Chinese people and culture are based on over four years of conversations and meetings with REAL Chinese people from all walks of life. Former young and older adult English students, businesspersons, lower income, middle income and the rich. These are MY REAL experiences and not some imaginary thing, or simply seen on TV, in a movie, or read in a book.
How can any foreigner, even those that may have married a Chinese woman, truly know China if you’ve never lived here for an extended time?
How can any foreigner, whether short or long-term in China, primarily socializing only with other foreigners, possibly believe, or can say, “I Know China”?
A foreigner can stay here a lifetime and not truly “Know China”, but they should have a pretty damn good idea of what’s going on IF they mix and mingle with the Chinese people.
Therefore, in my NOT so humble opinion, an expat should force themselves to leave their comfort zone and try meeting and socializing more with the usually friendly and receptive Chinese people. This same advice applies to whatever country an expat lives and/or works.
I’m certainly not suggesting people such as me should have no foreign friends. What I AM saying is by primarily having mostly foreign friends in another country, great opportunities are lost to enrich one’s life experiences and make new friends outside their culture.
Beautiful girls abound from all walks of life in Chengdu, Sichuan Province where I’ve lived three years and also nearby Chongqing. Sometimes Chinese men have argued over the blogosphere as to which city has the most beautiful women. Too my knowledge, this argument has never been settled. Let it suffice to say, they BOTH have stunning women.
There’s only one problem…
Most of these women DO NOT know any English. Even if they show interest in a foreigner, they often quickly become frustrated with communication problems, give-up and move on. Maybe you’ve experienced this online?
That is what I was inferring when I mentioned before boots on the ground can be frustrating even with the abundance of targets of opportunity.
I’ve made numerous observations of foreigners in China, especially pertaining to developing relationships with Chinese women who may be targets of opportunity. There are those foreigners that:
1. Meet women in expat bars. Every large city has expat “Watering holes” or bars where mostly foreigners and some Chinese congregate, especially on weekends. Some of these are geared towards the younger crowd with head banging music, some are for older crowd and some mixed. You rarely see some of these type expats with any Chinese friends and maybe there just looking for short-term hook-ups with Chinese women who often have decent English skills because they too also frequent these establishments.
While many of the Chinese woman seen in these places can be so called “Good girls”, or just “Having a look”, or meeting friends, many others are shanks and “Road whores” looking for any “White horse” they can find to ride. Some of these skanks, I’ve alluded to before in past Blogs, are members of multiple Internet dating websites (including CLM) posting false ages and look nothing like their old glamour or webcam photos, but they have good English skills. You wouldn’t know this unless you were boots on the ground.
2. Meet women in Chinese bars and discos. Many foreign men gravitate to these places flooded with young girls. Some of these girls are just having a “Night out with the girls” and don’t want to be bothered with men, or they are with Chinese men. However, there are always a large number of “B Girls”, or Hostess girls, and the occasional freelancers, where maybe a deal for sex can be struck for 400 RMB and up if this is all a man is seeking. This is definitely NOT my recommendation, no matter how beautiful, since this is most dangerous AND these girls rarely have any English ability.
3. Foreign English teachers often date women they meet in their school. This could be students or staff and NOT something I approve of, much less recommend, since it is usually against the schools policy, especially dating a student. A staff member is one thing, but even then, a bad break-up can create an unpleasant work environment. Dating a student, IF uncovered, and it usually is, can lead to a swift termination of employment resulting in a loss of a legal Z-Work/Residency Visa, not to mention money.
However, many of the youngest teachers, thinking through the wrong “Head” and too stupid to know ALL women, especially Chinese women, talk to their friends, who in turn talk to their friends, about romantic relationships. These idiots will usually learn their lessons the hard way (No pun intended!).
4. Expats working in multinational companies may meet Chinese women at their workplace and develop romantic relationships. Once again, this can be somewhat risky depending on company policy.
5. Chance meetings with women at restaurants, coffee/tea houses, retail stores, etc.
Then there is another way…
