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One of the most interesting similarities with China was a family gathering. It was my Grandmother's 90th birthday so all the family decided to have an afternoon tea. This meant that the 7 brothers and sisters brought the 35 grandchildren and their partners and the 30-odd great-grand children to a small community hall in the middle of a field and I spent most of my time in conversations about why I was not married and how someday I might be ’lucky’.

I'm not really sure what happened to my family, neither me, my sister or my brother have been married. I am the eldest of the grandchildren, my sister is second and my brother is fifth eldest and it seems like all the other young ones have paired off and multiplied, but the older ones are more reticent! One difference I think is that of the grandkids, my family are the most mobile - I have lived overseas for about 15 years and my sister is similar.

It was difficult for me but worse for my sister - over the course of the day her replies changed from ’I just haven't found the right one’ through ’I just haven't asked anyone yet’ to ’Get off my case and change the subject already!!’.

I could give the explanation of having a few girlfriends in China but not selecting the right one yet! That is an acceptable scenario-excuse for me but I doubt my sister would fare so well with such an answer!

So it appears the Chinese requirements of house, car and reputable job have migrated across the ocean to Australia as well.

What else emigrated... well, the poor level of customer service in the Bank of China got there too - I needed the assistance of the bank-teller in the bank to transfer some money into another account to pay an unexpected bill that appeared on my door on the morning I departed. So I went to the bank, to be greeted with that familiar hocking sound... the teller had just been transplanted from my local branch in China, obviously! Long pinky-fingernail, green tea slurp, lop-sided look of feigned indifference and all!

”What?”, he barked at me, obviously thinking from my Caucasian exterior that I was in the wrong place and hopelessly lost!

”I want to pay an electricity bill in China”, I said in my best mangled Chinese.

”You, why do you want to do that?”, he snarled.

”Because I live there and I need to pay it!"

Marimba... he looked up a me, waggled his finger then picked up his phone and ”Wei, DaGe, Ni zai na?”. A 5 minute conversation about the weekend followed, then he looked at me with an almost quizzical look on his face.

”Can’t do, Chinese bank accounts don't work in Australia, only UnionPay!"

”What?”, I asked, ”how do I may my bill?”

”Don’t know”, he relied, ”why ask me?”

”I ask you because you are a bank, I have an account with you and I need a little assistance to arrange some things in China”.

He stared blankly, hopefully optimistic that I would somehow evaporate into thin air and he could go back to cleaning his ear with this elongated fingernail scoop.

”Maybe you could international TT it, maybe"... I was on my guard - that sentence pattern in China is a definite ’I have no idea what I am talking about, and honestly, I don't give a shit!’ sentence form!

”So, what forms to I need to fill in?”, I asked.

He pointed vaguely in the direction of a colleague in a glass box labelled ”Overseas Wealth Exchange” and smiled meekly - obviously happy he had been strong enough to fob me off to the next person.

I went directly to the counter - there were no other customers in the bank but the girl in the box ignored me - obviously she was from Shanghai!

I tapped the glass and said ”Excuse me miss, I was told to come here to pay my electricity bill in China”. She looked up lazily from her romance novel she had downloaded on her iPhone and said ”No ticket, no service”. She didn't look up from her book, just motioned generally with a limp wrist vaguely towards the doorway.

Spinning around on my heel, I noticed a large ticket dispenser lurking behind the door. I went over to it to a screen of jumbled Chinese Characters... even in China they have bilingual instructions and big buttons, but not in Australia?

Luckily there was a security guard standing nearby so I asked him which button to push and he obliged, the machine spitting out a bit of paper and making an audible tone in the glass cage. ”Please wait until your number is called” said the guard, pointing to a line of seats...

What? No customers, no business but I had to wait until the girl finished her chapter in her Ebook.

About 2 minutes later, the number came up on the screen - I sauntered over to the window and explained my situation. The girl made a pouting ”duck face” and I half-expected her to flash a V for Victory sign. I noticed she was wearing a pair of oversized Jackie Onassis glasses without the glass lenses...so Beijing 2011, darling!

She looked down wordlessly and started punching on a calculator. ”Your bill is 347RMB; taxes, fees and charges are 621RMB so altogether 968RMB, that's if State Grid can accept overseas funds as payment!”.

I gulped, how ridiculous is that I thought.

”Don’t bother”, I said, ”even outside China they try to get you on a Laowai tax!”.

Finally the girl smiled - a faint tight-lipped flash of emotion... China had beaten me down again!

On my trip back home on the train I reflected on the experience - and I felt somewhat relieved - It's good to know that even when you are miles from China, some of the true Chinese Characteristics can survive!
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A person is paying, only because you think you Want to, not because he looked thirsty he needs. If you insist on paying, just enjoy your great, immersed in your complex of Notre Dame, but not to expect in return. Notre Dame is Virgin, great is great, it is precisely because she does not need to return. Cash delivery business has never been great. If you pay him 100%, counting on his conscience to give you a future, that is lending and received considerable interest, have to bear the risk of receiving without back. Anything is always thought clearly, then we can act. Never put yourself in a high risk situation on the spur.

We actually had a lot of simple truths in ancient time. For example, all wealth is owned by the eldest son, and not the eldest daughter, why? Because even the ancients knew: wealth on the female spouse is no benefits, only the male spouse is helpful. Women should provide the physiological base of reproduction, and men should provide material base resources. Women should not pay to man, because the world was not set like this.

Modern society distorts the rules of human instinct, from childhood, many girls grew as boys, they dare to spend money, willing to pay resources, but in fact, most of the time on this practice is contrary to the history of human evolution. This beyond the normal pay makes women have a very powerful but can not say anguish in her heart. So it's like computer Over Clock, indeed, at first glance there's nothing wrong with, or even let people illusory “should this " "women hold up half the sky". But Over Clocked the computer long operation, it is easy to have all the bad consequences, such as overheating, even destroyed.

A woman should enjoy the benefit of women in the community, trying to avoid the disadvantages of women in society. What benefits does, for example? The saying goes a woman hundreds seeking, said that females have the right to choose, so in your most beautiful moments, in your spouse choice period, you should use your gender advantage, select a partner that what is best for you. Don’t in your golden years, bitter to lose out against public opinion and call this behavior Love.

Even a man like you, if your relationship too fast, let him feel too easy, he paid too little, he will regard you as a lottery. Only be a lady reserved principle of ladies, let him give a lot to get you, he will feel all bet on you rest assured. Otherwise, if a child was not his own, whom can he cry to?]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=784
We usually forget to love ourselves when we rise struggle in the perplexity in pain and sufferings. When we forget love ourselves,We will lose self confidence and doubt ourselves and everything around us. And yet, if we give ourselves wholly to pain and grudge, sacrifice all we are and all we may become in the name of tragedy.

If we don’t love ourselves how we could love people around us ? If we don’t love ourselves how we could believe people love us? We “need” someone’s love, but, also are afraid of love, and don’t know why we are worthy of love?

So if we would be love, love ourselves and be lovable. If we love ourselves, we will apply to our life using love and understanding, ardor. That is why it is necessary to love ourselves enough before start a fresh relationship. We love ourselves, and keep trying to find the one we love who really love oneself.

If we love ourselves, we really will become as good as we think. We are what we think we are. We will be get better if we think we are good; We will get worse if we think we are bad. If we love ourselves, we could re-establish our life even though our life is destroyed. All pains and happiness is caused by ourselves. So Be nice to ourselves - Fervently love our life. Greet a beautiful future. Let all the strains of joy mingle in our life, shaking and waking all life with laughter. Even we really feel unhappy, we might could mask our suffering with a cheerful smile, and no one doubt our pretended happiness. One day, our grief and distress would pass, pretended happiness would become real happiness.

Do you love yourself?


很多时候我们都会很经常地对别人说‘嘿，你最近还好吗？’却总是忘了问问自己‘嘿，我好吗？’
当遭遇所爱的人背叛时我们悲哀，无助，痛苦，觉得一切快乐都随风而逝。当我们在困惑中挣扎，我们总是忘了爱我们自己。我们不再自信，怀疑自己和周遭的一切。
可是,如果完全放纵在痛苦和悲伤中，我们牺牲我们的所有同时，我们会变成悲剧的代名词.
如果你不爱自己，你又如何能相信他人是爱你的？你“需要”他人的爱，同时又在拒绝爱，不明白自己身上有什么可以去爱。
要别人爱你的话，就要爱自己，做一个可爱的人
如果你深爱着自己，你会用爱、热情与理解应对生活。
正因如此，在开始一段关系之前，先充分爱你自己，这非常重要.我们爱自己，并寻找一个同样爱自己的乐观的人。


我们真的会变成我们自己所想的那样。我们认为自己可以就一定可以。我们认为自己好，自己就会更好；认为自己坏，自己就会更坏。所有我们生命中的痛苦和愉快，都完全是自己造成的。如果足够爱自己，即使我们的生活已经被毁灭， 我们能够重建我们的生活 。对自己好－热爱自己的生命，迎接美丽的未来。让一切欢乐的歌调都融和在我们的生活中，让欢笑震撼我们的生活。如果太悲伤而快乐不起来，我们不妨用快活的微笑掩饰住自己的痛苦，谁也不会怀疑我们假装的愉快。时光流逝，假装的愉快有一天会变成真正的幸福。

你，爱自己吗？
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1, I think I understand what you mean.Ah, yes, indeed there will be some degree of discrimination in some places in China, for women or girls, like you said, "gave birth to the girl after a woman was forced to divorce", or "selective births", or"abandoned baby girl," ... these phenomena still exist in some places in China, particularly in some relatively poor and backward rural areas, this situation will get worse.

There are many reasons for this phenomenon, I think have a very important reason is China's pension system is not perfect (at least I think so). In China, most elderly people still need to rely on young people, Although the legal equality between men and women to inherit, but also the obligation to support their parents, but in fact, according to Chinese traditions, girls generally do not have maintenance of her parents (of course she is also no inheritance), because the girls grow up to get married, and then she will leave her parents, and she took care of her parents would be inconvenient, but the boy after the marriage, usually with his parents to live with, the elderly until death by his son to take care of.So, a lot of elderly people had a preference for sons, They believe that the daughter of someone else, and son of his own, and only gave birth to son, the future and old will have to rely on. Of course, there are other reasons, I do not say more, because that isanother subject.

2, the meaning of my blog is: with a boy middle-aged divorced woman is difficult to remarry, this does not mean she does not want to get married, but this woman is usually not a man to select.Well, our argument seems a little different, huh, I'm sorry, perhaps my article is not clear enough tomake you confused.

In China, the first condition of the majority of divorced men choose a woman is a woman without children, followed by appearance, age,occupation ... etc, women with children few men interested. As for thewoman with boys is to let those men flee far. this woman, the basic is to take three no's policy; do not touch, do not take into account, do not like. The man might be like the woman, but he does not like her children, especially boys. Most Chinese men are too smart, They are usually reluctant to raising someone else's child (the woman the boy is someone else's child), and to accept a woman with a boy's, men have to bear the responsibility of more and heavier. A child, from graduation to get married, and then to buy a house ... counted down, which is a very large economic costs, big enough man to marry a 18-year-old girl, and then raising his own children. divorced women in the city very much, men have more choices, so in China, the woman remarried difficult, women with children remarry more difficult, then, women with children（ boy） remarriage, like a fairy tale, usually only exist in a fantasies.

Now the Chinese let the world attention, but behind the rapid development, there are always some speechless, offbeat "Chinese characteristics".


让人无语的“中国特色”

答复Danruble：

我很喜欢你评论中的一个句子，就是“" One man ' s trash is another man' s treasure."（一个人的垃圾是另一个人的宝贝）写得真好！！！哦，Danruble，对不起，这段时间我参加了一个新项目的培训，所以没有及时回复你，很抱歉，现在我把我的答复以博文的形式写出来，希望能让更多的人看到：

1，我想我明白你的意思。嗯，是的，在中国某些地方，对于女人或者女孩的确仍然存在着某种程度的歧视，就像你说的，“女人生了女孩后被迫离婚”，或者“选择性的出生”，或者“被遗弃的女婴，“…...等等，这些现象在中国某些地方依然存在，特别是在一些比较贫穷落后的农村，这种情况会更糟。

造成这种现象有很多原因，我认为一个很重要的原因，就是中国的养老制度不完善（至少我是这么认为的）。在中国，大多数老年人的老年生活仍然需要依靠年轻人赡养，虽然法律上说男女平等，都有继承权，也有赡养父母的义务，但事实上，根据中国传统习俗，女孩一般不用赡养父母（当然她也没有继承权），因为女孩长大后结婚，会离开她的父母，她照顾父母会不方便，但男孩结婚后，通常跟父母生活在一起，赡养老人的重担就落在了儿子身上。所以，许多老年人养成了重男轻女的思想，他们认为女儿是别人的，儿子才是自己的，也只有生了儿子，自己的未来才有依靠。当然，还有其他的原因，我不多说了，因为那会是另一个课题。

2，我博文的意思是：带着男孩的中年离婚女人很难再婚，当然，这并不意味着她不想结婚，而是通常没有男人会选择这类女人。嗯，我们的论点似乎有些不同，呵呵，对不起，也许我的文章没有表达清楚，让你因此产生混淆。

在中国，大多数离婚男人选择女人的首要条件是不带孩子，其次才是外貌，年龄，职业…...等等，带孩子的女人很少有人问津，至于带着男孩的女人更是让男人敬而远之。男人对于这类女人，基本上都会采取三不政策；不接触，不考虑，不喜欢。男人也许会喜欢这个女人，但是他不会喜欢你的孩子，尤其是男孩。大多数中国男人都过于精明，他们通常不愿意替别人养孩子（女人带的男孩被认为是别人的孩子），而且接受一个带着男孩的女人，男人需要承担的责任更多，更重。一个孩子，从长大毕业，到结婚，到买房子…....如果计算下来，会是一个很大的经济压力，这笔钱大得足够男人娶一个18岁的纯情女孩，养一个自己的孩子，而且离婚女人在城市非常多，男人有更多的其他的选择，所以在中国，女人再婚很难，有孩子的女人再婚更加难，那么，一个带着男孩的女人再婚，就像是童话故事一样，通常只存在于美好的想象中。

现在的中国让世界瞩目，但是高速发展的背后，总有一些让人无语的，另类的“中国特色”。
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This happened to be the 111th session which means this crap has been going on for a long, long time. It wouldn’t be so bad if it brought out the best in the city but it does the exact opposite to Guangzhou. Sure the Bao An’s or public security are out in strength shutting down street vendors left and right, but that doesn’t even touch the main problems that occur during the fair.

The first problem is prices go up, which is normal when you think of how most tourist towns work, but these prices go up to exorbitant heights. I had to walk out of my favorite restaurant when they told me the price had jumped 60 RMB. I’m no cheapskate either but I won’t be raped by a place that I give business to all the time.

One big issue is that being a foreigner in Guangzhou during the fair automatically makes you a mark for every kind of scam imaginable. Black taxis are everywhere, and even the real taxis will try to screw you if you don’t let them know right away that you know what’s up. My very limited Chinese made all the difference between getting carried all over town and actually making it home.

Scams during Canton Fair take on a whole life of their own because of the sheer audacity of these people. The classic scam is one where they bump into you and drop something “expensive” and fragile on the ground and then try to extort money from you to pay for it. I’ve seen everything from piece of crap pottery to “expensive” bottles of baijiu. If there is one thing I can say to help a fellow visitor during Canton Fair, it is if this happens to you, just walk away. Don’t argue don’t fight just walk away because someone just tried to “Canton Fair” you.

Yes Canton Fair can be a verb here in Guangzhou. At our school we always warn the new guys about being Canton Faired and how to avoid it. Another problem is the foreigners who come here. Now I’m not going to generalize or I will try not to. It’s very hard not to generalize when you see it so much. You are sitting at the bar you frequent often having a few beers with the guys from work, when suddenly to see a foreigner rear back and smack a Chinese waitress on the ass. Then you see many more copping feels and just acting like the brutish A-holes they are. Now I realize that sometimes it’s not always trade fair people who are being pricks but in April or October there’s a 75% chance that it’s them.

Canton Fair, though, wouldn’t be complete without the seasonal chicken migration that happens every year. It’s like clockwork every time Canton Fair comes that around the Garden Hotel you will find flocks of these women harassing any foreigner that comes within a hundred yards of that hotel. Intermingled in this travesty of humanity are the “Nigerian” drug dealers, who are always looking to sell you some “stuff”. It’s over for now though and it will be sweet, sweet serenity until October comes and we go through the cycle all over again.
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Nothing prepared us to what you would see later though. We had several meetings with our teachers and instructors and we were told what to expect and also some hints of how to behave properly when dealing with our native population. They have their own laws and etiquette and they are not subject to our laws or Criminal Code. They are in the same level of children or a person with a serious mental illness, they will not be prosecuted if they hurt the so called civilized man. In other words, they are above the law and the Constitution, they have preferred status.

We were going deep inside the Amazon to provide Health Services, to promote health in those communities, do vaccinations, dental care etc. It was an ambitious plan. This was a combined effort of the Ministry of Health, our University and the Brazilian Air Force, that would give us all the necessary logistical support.

We were eager to start to work and to do what we were trained to do. In just few months we would graduate. With us, we had seasoned professionals, doctors with years of experience, people already graduated and doing Residency, some with a Master’s Degree and our teachers to overview the procedures and to monitor the quality of the services provided and obviously teach us.

We had the opportunity to see diseases that you only see in Pathology books which was fascinating. Diseases like Leishmaniose, Leprosy, Tuberculosis and all kinds of insect transmitted diseases like Chagas Disease. The Ministry of Health built three small hospitals in key strategic areas, fully outfitted, with Surgical Center, X Ray, Lab for exams, everything we needed. It is not a place where you can grab a phone and order something and have it delivered by Fedex the next day. We had to have everything we needed on hand. Just to give you an idea, our radios could not get any Brazilian station, but we could listen to Cuban Propaganda non stop and sometimes some music played by Radio Havana. This was 1975, the Cubans were very active those days.

Some of us were dropped in Obidos, where the Amazon river is at its narrowest point. Is the only place where we can see the other side of the river but is also were the river is very deep. Navigating in the Amazon is like navigating in the ocean, we can not see the river banks in neither side, it is just water everywhere you look..

Some of us went to Oriximina, that in native language means “the land of gold”. It is quite impressive to see minuscule particles of gold mixed with the sand of the local river.

The other group went straight to indian villages, the real thing. To get there, we had to use boats or small planes that could land in a very small unpaved landing strip. The pilots were really heroes. A miscalculation, would mean game over, you would crash on the trees ahead. Not a pretty sight.

The idea was to rotate the students so, everybody had the opportunity to deal with people that lived in remote areas and also our natives in their normal habitat. Some tribes don’t wear any clothing at all, just some feathers and also paint their bodies with vegetable die. They are very pure and innocent, you feel love and respect for them instantaneously. The kids run free, have their pets, turtles, monkeys, birds, they play and swim all day long a virtual paradise. They don’t go to kindergarten (children‘s garden), they live in “kinderparadies” (children’s paradise).

Everything was a reason to celebrate. They party everyday, if there is not a motive, they invent one. Always dancing, singing. Brazilian natives hunt, fish but also cultivate the land for things like cassava etc. Fruits are everywhere, provided by the Lord, all you got to do is to stretch your arm and grab one. We tried delicious fruits we had never seen before.

It was a very humbling experience. We went there to provide a service but we were the ones that were taught unforgettable lessons. If I live 100 years, I will never forget the things I saw and learned with them. I learned from the kids even how to fish using bow and arrow.

The main lesson was to observe them and compare their way of living with the ways of the erroneously called “civilized man”. They are far ahead of us. No stress, no obesity, no cardiac diseases, no people suffering from mental diseases, all the things that afflict those living in the big city. They have fresh food and fruits in abundance. They do not eat sugar, the only thing we saw was abrasion because they cut a lot of things with their teeth. The native ladies give birth, wash the baby in the river, put the baby in their backs in something they make for this purpose and go back to work !!! They work as hard or harder than the warriors.

They have a perfect understanding of the seasons, when to plant this or that and live in perfect harmony with nature. They are very independent and proud and yet they are very generous, share everything they have and are very amiable, always smiling.

I could write a book just about the two months I spent in the Amazon, for which I feel very blessed. It made me change my ways and how I perceived things. It was very enlightening to say the least.

I will tell just one incident for you guys. There was a “caboclo” (children of an indian and a caucasian person) that was doing his work in the jungle and was bitten by a nasty serpent. His wife managed to suck out most of the venom (good for her that she did not have any wounds in her mouth, otherwise she would be in trouble) but still some of the venom entered his blood stream. He was brought to the hospital in Obidos in very bad shape. He had to get there by canoe, he paddled the canoe himself. The man was a giant, strong like a horse a very healthy individual. Perhaps this was what still kept him alive. The venom of this particular snake is lethal, the chances of surviving are very slim if any.

Our teachers did everything that could possibly be done under the circumstances, but the prognosis was extremely bad. The man was going to die. Major organs started to fail, his body was giving up. We were all devastated, feeling so useless. We are trained to take care of people, not to cross our arms and see people die. We were all sad and frustrated.

Out of the blue, a German priest that worked in a mission in the region approached our teachers and asked permission to give him some kind of mixture of herbs he had in a bottle, like a tea. At that point, anything that could help was valid. There was nothing that the medicine of the “Homo Sapiens” could do. The priest gave some of that potion, whatever was inside of that bottle and surprise, surprise, two days later the man was sitting in his bed and eating with his own hands. I witnessed a miracle, nothing more, nothing less. We never found out what was inside that miraculous elixir, but this is totally irrelevant. Few days later the guy was discharged, his life saved by a herbal concoction. Thanks God.

The day of going back to Rio was fast approaching and an immense sadness invaded our souls. We all felt so grateful of being chosen to participate in that program. Another group of students was coming to substitute us. The indians were aware that we were leaving and felt sad too. We developed a bond with them that will never be broken. We had the privilege of seeing and living in the real Shangri-La, a stress free society.

They did all kinds of parties in our honor, sang and dance like there was no tomorrow. We ate fresh delicious fish barbecued prepared their way, with vegetables, produce and tropical fruits galore of all kinds.

In the day of our departure, the Buffalo plane was there waiting for us. We had lots of gifts given by the natives, a mind full of experiences and a heart full of love for those special human beings. The “curumins” (indian children) sang for us a farewell song and many of us, including me, did not manage to hold back the tears. It was hard to leave paradise and go back to the civilized man inferno.

After graduation, some of our colleagues managed to get a job with the Government, went back to those places, married local girls and live there to this day. The last time I heard about them they were all well, had big families, were very happy and healthy. What else can I say? Sometimes I wish I had the courage to do what they did........

May God bless them all.
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As a simple layman observer, I see the new trends in the world today. In my humble opinion, China already achieved a phenomenal success in assembling an immense manufacturing capacity. You don’t have to be very smart to go to the stores and notice that most things are produced in China.

Is just a matter of time and some improvement in some fronts and the Great Dragon will fly and take over the world.

Many experts predict that in 10 years, the top four countries in the world will be, US, China, Germany and Brazil. In pure mathematical terms, if 30 percent of the Chinese people become middle class, we are talking roughly 450 million people, the double of the American population. Imagine all this people frantically consuming goods. It will be a real mind boggling chain of events. China is poised to become the locomotive of the world.

The world is re-aligning, we have some disturbing scenarios developing as we speak. America is decadent, as the Roman Empire before them the US eroded itself from within. The US is rapidly losing the clout and prestige it had before.

Europe is in the brink of bankruptcy, xenophobia and chauvinism are on the rise, radical groups becoming more vocal and vicious and gaining momentum, which is scary, hunger and anarchy looming in the horizon. In some countries unemployment levels reached already unprecedented levels and social programs are being cut to the bone. Even France and England are getting in real bad shape. I guess it is safe to say that the Euro was an ill conceived idea, probably the product of Florentine minds. It was really a humongous mistake to go for an unified currency and centralized Economic policies. What is good for one country, is not necessarily good for another.

The once proud Russia, has one million children living in the streets. In their horrible winter, they live in the sewage, that is heated to avoid the plumbing to burst. A Dantesque scenario.

The idea of an unified Continental Europe Super Power, did not work out under Napoleon and I guess it never will. Way too many disparities among the countries. The truth is that the only country that saw benefits from the Euro was Germany, but to all the others it did more harm than good. The British are smart, that is why they did not join in, but England is in shaken grounds itself. They no longer have colonies to exploit. They live on past glory.

Will History once again repeat itself? The two great Revolutions in History, were due to hunger (Russia and France). We all know that large number of Irish immigrated to the US as the result of successive failures of potato crops, their staple food. Nothing causes more despair on people than to face lack of the bare essentials to survive.

At the end of the Roman Empire, they still had gladiator fights in the Circus Maximus, but people would buy the corpses of the fallen gladiators to eat them. When the barbarians finally invaded Rome after a long siege, there was nothing to eat.

The former almighty Japan is the “yesterday’s country”, rapidly losing ground to South Korea. The innovations come from Seoul now, no longer from Tokyo. Even the once powerful Sony Corp. is piling up losses upon losses and is operating awash in red ink.

Unfortunately, China copied the worst the West has to offer. It was a mistake to allow junk fast food restaurant chains to set foot in China. The Chinese cuisines, from Mandarin and Cantonese to Sichuan, Hunan and Dim Sum are healthy, simple, delicious, and nutritious. By changing their eating habits, we are seeing the Chinese developing juvenile diabetes, obesity, heart disease, serious health problems virtually unknown in China before.

To run a country with the formidable size of China, that houses more than one fifth of the population of the planet, must be a daunting task. I am sure that there are lots of extremely competent and brilliant people at the top, making decisions. I had the privilege and the honor of meeting many Chinese businesspersons, professors and scholars and I learned a lot with them and had also the benefit of seeing how usually a Chinese mind works and how they react.

It seems that the Chinese do not like to act fast, they take their time to make decisions. Perhaps their experience and wisdom taught them not to be impulsive. This can be a virtue, but sometimes fast action is imperative.

I feel that it is cultural it is just the way the Chinese people usually behave. I greatly admire and respect both, Great China and its hard working and resourceful people.

Strange as it may sound, even though China is an old and rich civilization with 5 thousand years of intriguing and fascinating History and my country, just a baby in terms of mankind History since it exists for only 5 centuries, do things in a very similar fashion business wise. Perhaps this explains why China is today the best friend of Brazil and our most important partner, we just understand each other.

China is a country that had a flourishing civilization, invented many things that changed the course of the world and improved things developed in other countries, like cloisonne for example, which existed from the time of the Pharaohs and in the Byzantine Empire. China had already a great, well developed and sophisticated society when the West was still living in the Dark Ages. I can imagine how Marco Polo felt when arriving in China. It comes as no surprise that the Great Chinese Dragon is taking its right place in the world, this was long overdue.]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=779
Many men, not enough to satisfy a girl, will indulge their evils, do not intend to correct their defects, and less willing to control their lower part of the body. They are selfish, stingy, adulterous thoughts, without thinking for you. To tell you the truth, when you want to go out from him, they'll beg you fall down on their knees. Nor are they don't love you, but their deepest subconscious is like you separated, so they don't willing to put up themselves. If you can accommodate all of his defects and adulterous thoughts, so leave you go; if you can’t fit in, he would be reluctant to say goodbye to you. This kind of man will always indulge, until he finds a girl he felt the need to cherish, or wait until one girl can hold all his defects.

I have seen the real feelings cleanliness girls. They are no matter how painful sad, turned to leave when they meet the Playboys. They will not balk at sacrifice, even that 1000 hurt the enemy at the loss of 800. Feelings of a neat freak girl, not verbally say their cleanliness, but in real life with the adulterous man tangled up everywhere, try various devices to maintain in a disastrous state of feeling; and self-described "feelings of cleanliness", just like those Miss who don't allow benefactors kiss almost, are placed a metaphor for presenting themselves and seek a psychological comfort. When intuition and security are getting you away from this man, but you did not listen, who you can blame after you hit a bad patch?

Say: we grew up, are to pay for love. You do like beautiful roses, you have to spend money to buy or at the risk of needle stick injuries to pick; you like a slim figure, it would have to pay hard sweat or starving uncomfortable process; you want to get a good grade, you have to grind away. And the filthy environment, garbage, obesity, poor grades, are we indulge their own natural desire will have consequences.

So, if you don't know how to keep your natural desires, leaving this seemingly attractive man, you will come to a sad end. If you do not leave, please pay for your love. Just like you in order to give him money to buy cell phones even not willing to eat a nice meal. Put your blood, sweat, love, children, family and happiness for the future into the bottomless pit. Rest assured, he won't restrain his desires for you. Even not yourself will defeat its own desires, what qualifications do you require for men restrained desire for you. Once a cheater, a hundred times No. The creed of tens of thousands of the world, the only way this article can let you avoid to the maximum extent to bury this life in black hands. Encounter the man betrayed you, woman must bear in mind: he betrayed you, enough to show that you are unable to HOLD him, you can't HOLD him now, cannot HOLD him at a later time.

Many women would say: why are women so sad fate? Any risk on the women side? The adulterer and the adulteress shall be not able to die a natural death. Then set out for women in various social adverse factors, let their feelings into deep despair.

In the face of the issue of betrayal, I personal suggest that the girls want to open some, women live longer than men, have a variety of degenerative disease risk than men do much smaller; sudden death and jail chances are more smaller than men; as long as the lower requirements, every woman is easy to be married, but some men are not necessarily marry wives; women have children must come from yourself, have never the risk to raise children for others' forever......If a less vivid metaphor, born as a woman, equivalent to choose a regular savings, risk is small; born a man, equivalent to being selected the speculation, risk is huge but the yield is also great. So from a biological instinct, men like adventure, derailed more than women, although this should receive moral condemnation, but this is a kind of animal instinct, which is composed of biological nature, rather than determined by individual character.

We should understand: Aim high or you may fall below the average. Although we have high requirements for men, but should be in spaces reserved for us. When encounter the betrayal strikes, we should not use to punish ourselves and even give up life way to punish them. We should know, it is as a female, have a common state, like cancer or violence compared to men, even if we do not expect, it also has an unsolicited probability.]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=778
Today, on the one hand ,the rate of divorce is on the increase in a scary fast speed .On the other hand for most people ,the marriage is still the most common end-result.

Chinese great writer MR Qian Zhongshu wrote in his book “ A Surrounded City”, Marriage is a surrounded city: people inside the city who want dash out of the city ; people ourside the city who want rush in the city .
George Bernard Shaw said , If you want get marriage ,get married ;If you want want being single ,be single .Well ,in the end you will be sorry for your decision at that time .

Probally man always is hesitant and indecisive in getting married or being single . Woman might think about marriage in a different way . What does marriage mean? A long-term meal ticket? Necessary and exclusive end-result of true love? Or both ?
Eileen jeered at marriage in her book, “Marriage is long term free charge prostitution for a woman” . but , this is precisely the same Eileen ,when she met a guy she got marriage immediately in spite of the mockery of all friends.And she said to this guy ,“Love a man would be humble to the dust inside ，and then so happy like flower blooming in bottom of heart .” That probally expained marrage always means a lot to a woman even sometimes woman jeer at marriage .
For most of history, the main impetus for marriage was getting in-laws and managing property, not love or sex.At the same time, changing social mores and expectations have placed stresses on long-term relationships.
. In the eighteenth century western people began to advocate love marriage.. In china ,love should be basic reason of marriage , this idea was advocated by China's new cultural movement.of 1919. That means And the idea that love be reason of marriage , is only a hundred years history .

Today , love marriage is accepted by a majority of people , we all believe that marriage without love is immoral. However, people don’t have enough experience in combining love and marriage .　

A marriage without conflict is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crisis. When a man and woman enter into Matrimony , there will be both periods of excitement and dullness. It's perhaps inevitable that some of the romance will go out of a relationship as time passes.And for some husbands and wives that spontaneity is replaced by a steady and deepening affection. But ,in fact ,many people are unhappy in their wedlock,they will feel Matrimony get vapid and boring as time passes.Some people lament , “Marriage is the tomb of love”. A continuance of love in marriage that become a big challenge more and more today .

Don’t try find heaven in marriage ,cause marriage is not something that happens in heaven.Only we can say ,the frontal lobes are really doing their mature job when we realize how a good marriage depends on kindness.

So,what do you think about love and marriage ?

婚姻不仅仅是一项制度，也是男人和女人之间的关系。
今时今日，一方面离婚率以惊人的速度在上升；另一方面，婚姻对人们来说仍然是最普遍的情感必然归宿。
文学家钱钟书说，婚姻是一座围城，在里面的人想冲出来，外面的人想冲进去。
萧伯纳说，想结婚的人就结婚吧 ，想单身的人就单身吧,反正到后你总会后悔的。也许男人总是在结婚和单身中摇摆不定。女人对婚姻也许有不同看法。一张长期饭票？还是爱情的必然归宿？或许两者兼而有之？

张爱玲在她的书中嘲笑婚姻是长期的免费卖淫。可是同是这个爱玲，遇到一个男人就昏了头立刻与他结婚。还对那个男人说，喜欢一个人，会卑微到尘埃里，然后开出花来。或许这说明婚姻对一个女人来说很重要，即使她有时可能嘲笑婚姻。
历史上，婚姻的动力主要是过继和财产，而不是爱情或者性。也就是说，在人类历史上，几千年的婚姻不是以爱情为依据的。
与此同时，变化的社会习俗和人们对婚姻的期望值也在使人们开始重视长期的婚姻关系。

以爱情作为婚姻的根本理由，则起于西方的18世纪，在中国，这种思想，从新文化运动开始。

尽管，以爱情为理由的结婚已经成为当代相当大多数人的普遍理念，没有爱情的婚姻是不道德的。然而，人们其实并没有足够的经验，把爱情和婚姻完好的结合在一起。所以有人悲叹，爱情是婚姻的坟墓。

没有冲突的婚姻，几乎同没有危机的国家一样难以想像。当一个男人与一个女人进入婚姻，婚姻会同时经历兴奋期和乏味期。两个人在一起时间久了，感情不可避免地会趋于平淡。对于有些夫妻而言，最初的那种激情逐渐变成稳定、深厚的感情。但是，也有许多人在婚姻中并不快乐，时间久了，他们会觉得婚姻生活变得平淡无味。如何让爱情在婚姻中持续，成为一个越来越大的挑战。
不要试图在婚姻中寻找天堂，因为婚姻不在天堂里。只能说，当我们认识到美好的婚姻关系是多么依赖于善意的对待时，可以说我们的心智已经相当成熟了。
你是怎么看待爱情和婚姻的呢？
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You say “But Ken, I’m no automatic weapons specialist. I’m not a trained sniper, or a communications expert, like those Secret Service guys are. I’m not even an attack dog handler, unless you consider my last romantic relationship. (Not from this internet dating web site, of course!). I’m just a guy looking for a date on a Saturday night. I haven’t checked my current messages, but nobody has asked me to protect the President this weekend.”

Well, perhaps not, but you are or will be a purchaser of goods and services overseas, just like those Secret Service agents. Maybe you really want a hot teakwood sculpture of an elephant! Picture it- the night has fallen; and you’ve hit the wild third world streets, searching for a hot teak wood sculpture of an elephant.

Don’t be like those Secret Service agents, know your ass from your elbow, and watch your back! You don’t ever want local police to come to your door.

You never want to have Secret Service agents come to your door either, come to think of it.

Also, Secret Service agents in a foreign country never want to have the local police come to their door.

And, probably, foreign local police don’t want American Secret Service agents to come to their door, either!

What good can come of any of the above happening?

Even if the local police are honest, that’s no good, because honest police will file paperwork. They will insist on having you come down to the police station, to liven up a boring night. If the local police are dishonest they will try to aid the locals in shaking you down. Or, maybe they are in on the shake down from the beginning.

Finally if the guys knocking at your hotel door are Secret Service agents, they will ask you to find women for them, and that’s hard work. Obviously, those guys don’t tip well.

Both honest and dishonest police will ask you to hand over your passport. The moment of truth… I knew a guy who refused to hand over his passport to Laotian police, and he got away with it. Of course he knew they were up to no good, and they knew he knew it.

Whether to hand over the passport is a complicated calculus whose variables include:

1-are you in a globally newsworthy tourist attraction, or some back alley bar?

2-are you with a very well dressed female fellow tourist who will immediately begin screaming for her consulate while standing in the center of that globally newsworthy tourist attraction?

3-has whatever military general who runs the tourist attraction decreed that there is not to be a breath of bad publicity while the hotel complex he is financing goes in? And the local cops all know it?

If not… well, my expertise is limited to hot teak wood statues of elephants.

To add spice to the mix, probably you’ve had a drink or two before this all happened. The Nazis had a drink or two before deciding to invade Soviet Russia. Drinking can often lead to a series of complications and bad judgments.

The Secret Service agents involved have had their careers ruined because they disputed claims of services rendered for $30 or $600, depending on the news reports. Their stupid refusal caused the hotel staff to become involved, which in turn led to the involvement of the local police.

Who mentioned all this to the American embassy.

You really want to settle things before the local police arrive. Heck, before the hotel staff arrives. And you have to be sharp about this, because a phone call takes less than a minute. While you are thinking it over, neurons ticking away, the phone is picked up by angry people, the call made, and the situation becomes irreversibly more difficult.

Of course, this may all be a prearranged setup the police are already in on…

In any case… you will be allowed by all concerned to walk out to the ATM. Don’t worry about that. $30, or $600, I say, get it paid off and over. Some people say” Fight it!” urging you to phone the helpful “Tourist Police”, the Embassy, etc.

Well, it’s up to you, and perhaps it depends on how bad things can become. If you are guilty, pay it off. If the frame up is a good one, pay it off. If it’s an absurd charge and they want a lot of money I guess you can fight it.

The real trouble is often the collateral damage, not the actual charge, as the Secret Service agents found out.

My most recent experience was with a frame up. My friend was innocent, but it sure looked like he was guilty, mostly because it was a good frame. We paid and shook hands with the enemy.

Everybody should then go away happy, remarking what a sensible person you are.

If you are still nervous about it, leave town the next day.]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=776
Perhaps his male chauvinism is to tell you: if you can't find a job, I raise you. Or: since parents opposed to, it would go with me, I will be good to you for a lifetime; or is: don't be long-winded, you can have that for you.

Perhaps his male chauvinism is telling you: a woman to do the housework as unalterable principles; or: you can not speak with male colleague off duty; or: daughter-in-law does not filial to my mom, why do I get her home, mom said must listen, she is older, junior must filial elders; or: you must give a man the face outside, even if be dictated to by me, you also was heard.

It is two distinct types of "male chauvinism ". One is taking care of women and children, another is squeezing female. The former is an advantage, the latter is a disadvantage. Some people are born is like to take on more obligations, some people want to borrow a noun does not assume the obligation, and to implement rights. The latter is not called machismo, called a false machismo line egoistic reality.

Usually girls entangled in whether want a male chauvinism boyfriend, in general are the latter disadvantage "male chauvinism". But in a society of promoting equal pay for equal work, a male chauvinist who is an anachronism. You live with him, can not enjoy the benefits, but also selfless dedication is too much.

Macho man usually has two significant advantages: male hormone secretion strong, look good, and also like to participate in the male competition, easier to achieve career success. Sometimes, even if the latter many faults, the woman also entangled in the feelings inside and can’t out. If this is the case, then decide to weigh the advantages and disadvantages. We buy things have to be cost-effective, if he is handsome and rich, willing to take you and manly, that a little shortcoming may endure. If not so, but false machismo of egoistic, line of. You'd better change boyfriend, I have a female 100 for, to marry him and had advantages not figure?]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=773
However, I am impressed at how the papers here are still filed by hand and yet always seem to be in order and if I have had a long wait it was only because of the massive lines and not the work of the person behind the counter or desk. I have a lot of respect for the stamp of justice they use here also. If you aren’t sure what I’m talking about you’d have to just see it as you watch your paper work get flipped through with a quick BAM, BAM, BAM of the stamp, which gives anything you are getting done a feeling of finality that a signature can’t quite accomplish.

In the U.S. when you get anything official done it mostly just requires the old John Hancock and the date that you are getting whatever done. Usually I would leave feeling like there was something missing from the process.

Of course I think I was told also by a friend that the reason they do so much manual paperwork, sidewalk fixing, and street cleaning here is because it’s a way for people to make a living here in China. Sounds like something we could use in the states. I’m sure these jobs aren’t going to make anyone rich but it seems better than the alternative of starving, which here in China is a distinct possibility as opposed to most Western countries.

So now I have to go to the Public safety office and give them my passport so that they can turn my work visa into a residency. That of course being the whole purpose of a work visa, it’s not like any other visa because this one is meant to be traded in within a month for residency. It’s similar to a family visa that you get when you marry a Chinese woman but unlike the family visa residency visa you can work with this residency.

It’s supposed to be a quick and painless process to get it done, but I haven’t been through it yet so I’m not sure if that’s true or not. I will definitely let you guys know all about what happens when I get to that part of my adventure in government procedures.]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=775
I thought for a while, and my answer is no. No, That is too rude to point my finger at Chinese man. Chinese men are my father, uncles, brothers… and even one day my little boy will become a Chinese man too. I will be a mother of a Chinese man one day. And I could easily find many good men beside me, only they are other woman’s husbands instead of mine.

This is truth, In china being older single woman especially being a single mother of a little child, we have to bear more social pressure: the pressure of survival and the pressure of public opinion.

What is the difference in china between a single 40 year old woman and a single 40 year old man？ A single 40 year old man with some professional background, good job he will be called as “diamond bachelor” or “golden bachelor”. A single 40 year old woman with same background, she will be called as “left-over woman”. If she is not only single but also a single mother I am sorry she will leftover of leftover. It is not fair, but we have get used to it.

I am lucky, after years of hard work, now I have a fair job who could make myself and my son live happily in a way of simple life. Well, I need a man, but, don’t count on a man for saving my life. I could let nature take its course.

There is still a lot of single women having child, when their man left that also means they lost a life security, have to pinch their pennies to make ends meet. I understand how much difficult for them cause I was there too.

Let’s come back to the topics. I don’t think I should lose confidence to a man. I believe more understanding and tolerance between man and woman that is necessary. However that will be wonderful if the society could pay more attention to the women on the relatively weak position.

我有一个双胞胎妹妹，我常向她倾诉单身的烦恼。有一次，她突然问我，：“你对男人失望吗？特别是对中国男人？”我想了一会儿，回答是“不”。我不想那么无情地指责男人，他们是我们的父亲，兄弟，甚至我的小儿子有一天也会长成一个男人。我也会是一个男人的母亲。
的确在中国，一个不再年轻的单身女人，特别是单身母亲，我们必须承受更多的社会压力：生存压力还有舆论压力。
一个40岁的单身女人和一个40岁的单身男人有什么区别？一个四十岁的单身男人，如果他收入不错，有一定专业背景，他会被称作“钻石单身汉”或“黄金单身汉”。一个同样的背景的单身女人，她只是“剩女”。如果她不仅单身，还有一个孩子，对不起，她是剩中之剩。

我是幸运的,多年的奋斗后,我有一份还不错的职业,足以养活我和儿子。我需要一个男人, 但并不指望一个男人来拯救我的生活。我可以顺其自然。

仍然有许多带着孩子的单身女性，当他们离婚时也失去了生活保障，生活常常捉襟见肘。我明白她们多么艰难，我也曾经经历过。

让我们言归主题，我不认为我对男人已经失望。我相信男人和女人之间多一点宽容和理解是必须的。如果这个社会能对处于相对弱势的女性多一点关注，那就更好了。]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=770
On her way to Hangzhou she met and joined Liang Shanbo, a companion schoolmate from Kuaiji (Kuàijī is now known as Suzhou City) in the same province Zhejiang. They studied together for three years, during which their friendship strengthened. Actually Zhu already fall in love with Liang, but Liang thought Zhu as a boy. Before graduation from the school, Zhu asked Liang, "Liang, we have so much common languages, if I am a girl, would you like to marry me?". "Zhu, I am sure happy to marry you if you are a girl. However you are a man same as me." Liang replied to Zhu. Zhu was too shy and had no enough courage to tell Liang directly she is a girl. She used all metaphor to drop a hint she is a girl and in love with Liang. But poor Liang never understood Zhu is a girl. Finally, she made a story and tell Liang she had a twin sister. She told Liang, “I have a twin sister she is exactly same as me. I can say she is another me. Do you like to go to my home to propose to my sister?” Liang agreed.

In one year when Liang reached Zhu‘s home he came to know zhu was a really beautiful and elegant lady. Of course all his love for Zhu was completely awakened. But too late zhu was already engagded with a a man of noble birth, named Wencai, her parents had arranged for her to be married to. Depressed, Liang died very soon.
On the Welding day with Ma, on the way to Ma’s home whirlwinds prevented the wedding procession from escorting Zhu beyond Liang’s tomb. Zhu left the procession to pay her respects for Liang. Liang’s tomb split apart, and Zhu dived into it to join him. A pair of beautiful butterflies emerged from the tomb , flitting boldly from flower to flower.

That is amazing love legend, right? On the pages of formal history we Chinese woman who always hiding on behind man with vague appearance. We don’t have any our own idea and any independent will, even we seldom have own name. That made us think Chinese woman just like that. On this ancient folktale, Zhu is standing before us with her bright individuality characteristic. This amazing legend transmitted to today that told us what a real Chinese woman is. True love is always the most passionate longing for a woman in every time.

大约一千年前时，祝英台女扮男装前往杭州求学，路遇梁山伯，因志同道合而结为兄弟并同窗三载。后祝英台归家，行前托媒师母许婚梁山伯。十八相送，祝英e 台以“妹”相许。梁山伯知情，往祝家求婚，此时，祝父公远已将女许婚马太守之子马文才。梁祝二人楼台相会，之后，梁山伯抱病归家，病亡。祝英台新婚之时，花轿绕道至梁山伯坟前祭奠，惊雷裂墓，英台入坟。梁祝化蝶双飞。

这是一个神奇的爱情故事，对吗？ 在中国的史书中，我们女人总是面目模糊地站在男人的身后，没有自已的想法，没有任何自己的意志。在这个古老的传说里，祝英台如此鲜明地站在我们面前。这个故事告诉我们一个真正的中国女人是什么样的？
在任何时代，对一个女人，爱情永远都是最热烈的向往。
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So while I waited for this to happen I went through the holiday season in China with W and the guys from work, which was great except for getting drunk and dancing shirtless on stage at a club. Work was getting more heavy for me as I took on training responsibilities and became active in the day to day business that is usually was reserved for management. It was great to see how far I’d come since I’d started a year before but also daunting when I realized how much is involved in the school’s functioning.

As New Years passed without word yet on my work visa I was beginning to get down again but found that the new teachers that had joined the school were determined to keep my spirits up. It’s great to realize you work around some great people and that we really do stick together like a family, even if it’s a rather dysfunctional looking family. When Chinese New Year arrived I decided I’d go to Hong Kong on my own terms and visit the sights around Kowloon mostly.

The vacation in Hong Kong made me reassess my feelings. On one side there was the necessity of going there every month, which is honestly a huge pain in the ass. Then on the other side there are a lot of fun things to do in Hong Kong, if you can get over the frustration of the hassle. I’ve found that I am extremely fond of Nathan Road aside from the annoying guys trying to sell me a suit. I could find anything I could have ever wanted back in the states there and that made me happy.

After Chinese New Year I got my invitation and foreign expert license from the school and then ran into another brick wall. How was I going to get this visa processed here in China when I needed to go to the consulate in Houston, Texas? Well luckily a friend from school gave me a website of a company that processes visas even for American’s in China. So I found out all I’d need to send them and then hit another snag. How was I going to pay them? I know that seems like an easy thing. Just send pay online with a credit card right? Nope. I don’t have a credit card nor do I really want one, but after this ordeal I am beginning to see it as a necessity now.

So after weeks of trying to find a way around this problem another one of my amazing friends at work finally says “Just give me the cash and I’ll pay the visa processing for you.” Works for me, so that’s what I did and so it was sent off to the States for the hope of finally having the one thing that people said I couldn’t get and the others who more or less said if I didn’t have it I shouldn’t be here.

It's all out of my hands now and I don't know what will happen. As the package was picked up by FedEx, I found myself wondering if I had done everything right and if I had taken too long from the date of my invitation. Did I have all the information correct, but now all I could do is wait once again…
]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=771 Foreign Policy magazine. Don’t worry, this isn’t some dry treatise on détente or Thom Friedman’s latest paean to globalization. Instead, it is right up the alley of our shared interests and extremely relevant to your pursuits on this website Titled “The Startling Plight of China’s Leftover Women” and written by Christina Larson the essay begins with an interesting conundrum. If men outnumber women in Chinese society, why are there a growing number of unmarried women here?

The gender imbalance in China is both well-known and increasing. In 2010 118 boys were born for every 100 women and by 2020 the number of men unable to find partners is expected to reach 24 million. Less familiar, perhaps, is the corresponding increase in unmarried Chinese women. In 1982, just 5 percent of urban Chinese women ages 25 to 29 were unmarried. By 1995, that percentage had doubled. By 2008, it had nearly tripled. Similarly, the number of unmarried in the 30-34 age group had increased three-fold from 1995 to the present. A large supply, an overwhelming demand, and yet a decrease in the related economic activity: It would be like offering free beer at a ball game and finding that consumption actually dropped when you did so. How to explain this bizarre phenomenon?

In the article Wu Di, author of “I Know Why You’re Left” declared the phenomenon to be the result of high GDP growth. "In the past, there was no such word as sheng nu [the Chinese term for unmarried women over 30]. But today women have more wealth and education -- they have better jobs, and higher requirements for men." Whereas not so long ago women may have settled for someone without any obvious genetic defects, she chastises Chinese women: "Now you want to find a man you have deep feelings for who also has a house and a car. You won't all find that." Her message is quite glum. "The future is different," Wu predicted, waving her arms for emphasis. China's big cities will be filled with sheng nu. "Those who can bear the shortcomings and sufferings of men will get married," she concluded. "Those not, single." Another writer, Leta Hong Fincher chimed in with similar advice: "If you want to stand a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting married in this country, don't demand too much from your man."

I would have to respectfully disagree with these knowledgeable women about their recommendations for Chinese women. Instead of “the food is bad, hold your nose” I would say, “the food is bad, go to another restaurant." As Thom Friedman reminds us, the world is flat. The marketplace is no longer local or national but international. This holds for computers, car parts and life partners. If any sane businessman who didn’t like his local supplier would naturally look overseas for one more suitable to his requirements, why wouldn’t a sane woman do the same?

If you are interested (and if you have gotten to this point you obviously are), I would recommend not only reading the article but checking out this interview with the author.]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=774
（1）中国男人非常注重女人的外表，他们通常要求女人有一个美丽和精致的五官，一头飘逸的长发，和丰满的胸部，但是这些，我都没有。我似乎遗传了我父母的所有在外貌上的缺点，塌鼻梁，下垂的眼盖，突出的颧骨，短而稀少的头发……虽然我很平凡，甚至一旦融入人群很快就会忘了我的样子，但是我相信，我是一颗粗糙的钻石，这已经足够了，呵呵......同时，上帝给了我一个小小的胸部，我的朋友常常用来取笑我，他们说我的胸部看起来就像“重灾区”，这个时候我总是对着她们一脸傻笑：“嘻嘻......还好啦，噢，至少我不用担心它下垂。”O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

（2）相当多的中国男人非常注重女人的年龄，他们似乎都很喜欢找一些很年轻的女孩，他们甚至不管对方的年龄和自己相差很远，就像一个博客里面说，“18岁的男人，找18岁的女孩，28岁的男人，也找18岁的女孩，38~78岁的男人都无一例外的在寻找18岁的女孩”，这是非常令人沮丧的事实，也许世界上再也没有哪个国家的男人像中国男人那样，对外貌的追求达到了极致，呵呵，也许这是好的，它至少说明中国男人具有良好的审美观， 我经常会这样安慰自己，呵呵O(∩_∩)O~，虽然有些自欺欺人。

（3）中国男人喜欢女人对他们崇拜，他们会要求女人辞掉工作专心照顾家庭，然而，当女人因为家庭和岁月的流逝失去了她的年轻美貌，她们的丈夫开始搞婚外情，这样的例子太多太多了。

我很幸运，我没有遇到背叛。我的前夫对我很好，我们当初是“裸婚”，没有花费任何金钱，除了一张结婚证书。我们常常一起牵手去逛街，去市场买菜，如果我累了，我会假装很可怜的看着他，然后耍赖不肯走，这时他常常会假装无奈的蹲下来，让我爬到他背上，然后背着我一起回家。他总是爱揉着我的头发，宠溺的说：“你像一个三岁的小孩”，他常说很爱我和我们的孩子。我们对彼此都非常忠诚。但在2004年，当我们因为一些矛盾而分居，他开始拒绝给任何生活费用给儿子和我，最令人费解的是，他甚至从来不会主动来看儿子，似乎已经消失在这个世界上一样，直到现在，仍然这样。

2010年，我们友好离婚，呵呵，我们的离婚是“裸离”，和当初的“裸婚”很像，没有任何金钱和财产，除了一张离婚证书，我只是多了我的儿子。

这么多年，我一直独自抚养儿子和工作。我发现我根本不懂男人，尤其是中国男人，我不知道他们都在想些什么，我不知道为什么在失去爱情的同时，一个男人会连作为父亲的责任也跟着丢失，为什么？？？我永远不懂，永远。这太奇怪了！他让我对中国男人失去了信心。

（4）一些中国男人会要求那个女人没有孩子，或者如果女人带着孩子，最好是女孩，也许他们害怕女人带来的儿子会在将来瓜分他的财产。我的孩子是个男孩，我是我儿子的合法监护人，因为他太小了，所以我必须跟他一起生活；

噢，40岁，离婚，带着男孩……我所有的这些条件都不符合大多数中国男人的择偶要求，所以我想，在选择爱情上，也许西方男人会更好，他们通常不介意这些，如果他介意，至少不会表现得那么明显。所以，你看，我在这里。

我希望通过这个平台找到真正欣赏我的伙伴，当然，我也想通过婚姻让我的生活变得更好，虽然我很独立，但是如果有更好的生活，谁不喜欢呢？如果找不到，也没关系，我相信明天会更好。

如果您决定跟我联系，我不会轻易说我爱你，我也不会相信您会非常爱我，尤其是在刚开始，不，这是不现实的，这通常是一些网络骗子常用的手段。

我希望我们首先是朋友，友谊是爱情的基础，沟通和倾听是友谊的桥梁，我将与您分享我的快乐和悲伤，当然，我也希望能跟您一起分享您。也许我们会沟通很久，几个月？一年或更长的时间？又或者，也许它会很短？呵呵......谁知道呢？爱情总是悄悄的来临，正如它总是悄悄的消失一样。

I am here because my job scope is very narrow, I am engaged in the beauty industry, customers and colleagues are mostly women, I can not know more male. At work, I have some clients through the network to find their own happiness, so I want to try this approach. Before this, I have tried in a local Chinese friends network registration, but through communication, I found that most Chinese men of ideas are very traditional：

（1）The Chinese men very attach great importance to the woman's appearance, they usually ask for a beautiful and delicate facial feature, a flowing long hair, and plentiful full chest, but these, I all have no, I seem to genetic my parents all the shortcomings in appearance, the collapse bridge of the nose, the eyes of the drooping, prominent cheekbones, short and less of the hair, Although I very ordinary, even into the crowd will soon forget my appearance, but I always believe that I am a rough diamond, that is enough， ha ha...... Meanwhile, god gave me a little breasts, my friends often laugh at me, they said my breasts looked like "Heavy disaster area", and I always show a face of silly smile: "hee hee...... that's ok, well, at least I don't worry it will droop." O(∩_∩)O

（2）Quite a number of Chinese man very pays attention to a woman 's age, they seem to like looking for some very young girl, and don't even mind the age of the other party to differ very far, like a blog says"18 year old man looking for a girl of 18 years old,28 year old man looking for a girl of 18 years old,38...78 year old man also looking for a 18 year old girl", this is the frustrating truth, maybe in the world no country men like Chinese man, for the pursuit of appearance can reach that ultimate realm, ha ha, maybe this is good, at least that the Chinese man with good aesthetic, I often this consolation, O (∩ _ ∩) O ~, although some self-deception.

（3 ）Chinese men enjoyed a woman's worship, they will ask the women quit her jobs to concentrate on family care, However, when a woman because of the family and the years lost her young and beautiful, their husbands began to engage in extramarital affairs, too many such examples.

I'm lucky that I didn't meet betrayal, My ex-husband was very good to me, Our marriage without spending any money apart from getting a marriage certificate . We often together hand in hand to go shopping, go to the market to buy food, if I am tired, I'll pretend pathetic to look at him, and refused to walk, he will often helpless squat, let me climb onto his back, carry me home, He always loved rubbing my hair, said to me:" you are like a child of three years old"， he often said love me very much and our children. We are very loyal to each other, but in 2004, when we because some contradiction and separation, he began to refused to pay any cost of living to son and I, the most puzzling is that he even never take the initiative to see son, he seems to disappear in this world, until now, still so.

2010, our friendly divorce, ha ha, we divorce and our marriage are very similar, with no any money and property, in addition to a certificate of divorce, but I got my son.

Over the years, I have been alone raise my son and work. I find that I don't understand a men, especially Chinese man, I don't know what they are thinking, I don't know why the loss of love at the same time, even as a father's responsibility to followed the lost, why???I will never understand, never. Too strange! he let me lose confidence to Chinese man.

（4） Some Chinese men will ask the woman without children, Or if the woman has a child, preferably a girl, maybe they are afraid of the woman brought the child in the future will be divided out his possessions, my children is a boy, I was my son legal guardian, because he is too young, so I must to live with he;

well ,I own all of these conditions do not meet the requirements of the majority of Chinese men's mate, so I think, in the choice of love, perhaps the West would be better men, they usually do not mind that, If his mind, at least not behave so obvious. So, you see, I am here.

I hope that through the platform to find really appreciate my partner, Of course, I also want to make my life better through my marriage, although I am very independent, but a better life, who does not like it? If not, it does not matter, I believe that tomorrow will be better.

If you decide to contact me, I will not easily say I love you , and I will not believe you love me very much, especially in the beginning, no, this is unrealistic, is commonly used means of cyber-crooks.

I hope we are friends first, Friendship is the foundation of love, Communication and listening is a bridge of friendship, I will share with you my happiness and my sadness, of course, I also want you to tell me to share you. Maybe we will communicate for a long time, A few months? One year or even longer? Or, maybe it will be very short? Ha ha... who knows?

Love always comes quietly, just as it always leaves quietly.]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=769
Some henpecked husband created an interesting maxim: “Best man is afraid of his wife; good man love his wife: bad man beat his wife. ”Ha ha, I don't know this is self-ridicule or stubborn pride?

More and more chinese man who like to "declare" they are afraid of their wife. "I quited smoking cause my wife dislike it". "I don't drink anymore, my wife dislike it". "Could you borrow some money? Now all money is in my wife hand". ...Things like this are too numerous to mention.

One of my job partner, Jiang is a sucessful business man who own a big company. Everytime when Jiang invited our customers to have dinner, he always repeated a same joke: "My wife is very tough very strong like a tiger. I am so afraid of her. I am so happy to have the chance to invite you to have dinner with me. I am getting drunk cause my wife is not at home today. I don't think this joke very good but every time it worked. Then we had very happy dinner time and a lively discussion at the dinner table: who is the boss of your family? At least more than 50% men admit the wife is the boss of their family. Of course all men didn't forget mention their wife respect and accept man's final decision in company or in public.

So are you a hen-pecked man? Or will you be?

Welcome your comments ,please ?

人们把怕老婆的男人叫“妻管严”。
苏格拉底说假如你的妻子是善良的，你便是一个幸运儿；假如你的妻子是邪恶的，你就会成为哲学家。”哈，我猜这就是苏格拉底成为最伟大的哲学家的理由。
一些怕老婆的人创造了句有趣的格言：一等男人怕老婆，二等男人爱老婆，三等男人打老婆。哈哈，我真不知道这是自我调侃还是死要面子。
越来越多的男人“声称”他们怕老婆。“我现在戒烟了，老婆不喜欢；我不喝酒，老婆不喜欢：你能借我一些钱吗，钱都在我老婆手里”.............诸如此类， 不胜枚举。我有一个生意伙伴蒋，他是一个拥有一个大公司的成功商人。每次邀请我们的客户晚餐时，他总是重复一个同样的笑话：我老婆很厉害，就像老虎。我很怕她。我很高兴今天有机会邀请你们。我们可以一醉方休，因为我老婆今天不在家。我不觉得这个笑话有多好笑，不过每次都奏效。接下来我们会愉快的晚餐，并且在饭桌上热烈地讨论：在你的家里谁做主？ 至少超过一半的男人承认老婆在家做主。只是所有的男人都没忘记提他们的妻子尊重他们在外面所做的决定。
你是一个怕老婆的人？或者你会是？
]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=746
As their head, I not only gave them convincing argument of all exercises, but also translated about 90 English exercises from Cornelius Fichtner, a PMP coach who lives in USA, and shared all newsletters on our QQ group. I love these exercises and detailed explains. Until now I still download some exercises from Cornelius’ Linked-in, if only he published newsletters, although I had passed my PMP exam. My classmates even think that I can be a PMP coach. But all thought of high-hands’ results are not ideal, but nonentities got ideal score even not who believe. Even our teacher who attends every PMP exam in order to get the first information, he always got 5P or 4P1M score, but he just got 3P2M score this time.

There is a beautiful girl in our team I guessed who would pass the exam in her first try. So many beautiful girls had passed the tough exam on 24th, Sep., 2011. Although my 4M1B score was not ugly in the time, but I was fail on my first try. Maybe I am an old lady? But I was wrong, just our beauty had not passed the exam. So every our team member can’t get ￥400 money award, and I can’t earn my PDUs (Professional Development Unit), As team head, I must made all my members passing our PMP exam.

By the way, the highest score is 4P1M in China this time that also was owned by two young beautiful girls, one came from Nanjing, another one came from Suzhou.

I want to share Lessons learned here, I did Volume B...

Volume B 182: A remote item due to local market factors, leading to cost significantly less than the original estimate of cost. Project manager increased the resources in the budget to make the progress faster. I selected "Exploit" in the exam. I checked PMBOK page 305 after my exam, I found the author of the question who try to examine us this sentence: "Examples of enhancing opportunities include adding more resources to an activity to finish early." So this question should select “Enhance”.

It seems to be behind the question, 189:. ... In order to enhance the chances of a positive risk, Project Manager hired an expert ... I chose "Enhance" in the exam, as seen in stem "enhance". In fact, the author try to examine us page 304 this sentence: "Examples of directly exploiting responses include assigning an organization’s most talented resources to the project to reduce the time to completion or to provide lower cost than originally planned." So this question should select “Exploit”.

Self-criticism: Learning PMBOK Strategies for Positive Risks or Opportunities, I had no distinguished the difference between these two verbs after repeated deliberation, not deeply understand the difference of the two examples. Both of these examples, the purposes are the same, is to complete the task as soon as possible, to gain a greater advantage. But literally understood, "Exploit" refers to exploit new roads or things, and "Enhance" refers to the original on the basis of the increase. The two means are not the same.

Back to question 182, without an increase in resources, costs are also automatically dropped. If a little more resources on this basis, and within the budget, the progress would be faster than the original, which is clearly based on the original promotion, PMBOK called it: Enhance.

Question189, is clearly in the "Exploit" of a new money-making opportunities, the chance you do not take the initiative to “Exploit”, it will not appear.

Brain-storming VS Delphi

Project manager convened experts and team members to identify risks, required each Member to have their opinion on the wall, recorded risks. What tool or technology did the project manager use? Answers: Brain-storming, Delphi technology, Interview, etc.

Our teacher selected Brain-storming. He explains: the stem told us all members in a meeting, not back-to-back, question and answer is not one-to-one, so only selected Brain-storming. Meet the stem do describe? Yes, Brain-storming can do like this.

I selected Delphi. Affixed opinions to the wall, I think it is anonymous. If you brainstorm, you could say well, people together, directly speak is very convenient, right? Write comments to the wall some more trouble, right?

There is the toughest question about Earned Value Management which appeared in 24th, Sep., 2011. I also share it here...

A project has a budget of 1000$ and schedule 10 days. When 1st, Dec. 70% of the work is finished and a total of 600$ spent. If promote 50% of the efficiency, how many days will the project be complete?
A, 11 days; B, 12 Days; C, 13 days; D, 14 days.
Above was the question on 24th, Sep. 2011 in China
Our teacher's solution: SPI=1+50%, Time to complete=10days* (1-70%)/150%=2days, the project will take TOTAL 12(10+2)days to complete.
In fact, original SPI (Schedule Performance Index) had not been given in this question. But I found this sentence in P182 of PMBOK:" The EVM (Earned Value Management) schedule variance will ultimately equal zero when the project is completed because all of the planned values will have been earned." So our teacher thought the original SPI=1, later SPI=1+50%.

Conclusion: There is a sentence in Chapter 10 PROJECT COMMUNICATION MANAGEMENT of PMBOK:" Effective communication creates a bridge between diverse stakeholders involved in a project, connecting various cultural and organizational backgrounds, different levels of expertise, and various perspectives and interests in the project execution or outcome." So we all learn PMP who get to a common view, different languages are not determination of our communications. PMI (Project Management Institute) doesn't try to test our English levels. If only Chinese translation hasn't evident different interpretations, common Chinese students can all understand. Culture backgrounds are more important than languages. Respecting different Cultures that is the most important thing in communication. ]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/blog/article.aspx?pkid=768 女人常说男人多么坏，多么善变。男人离我们太近，我们常怪他轻浮，男人离我们太远，我们怪他不解风情。但女人对待自己认定的爱情，仍像飞蛾扑火，乐此不疲。当女人爱上一个男人，最想要的是地久天长。几百年一个女子对他的男人说，山无棱，天地合才敢与君绝。
女人……女人一辈子讲的是男人，念的是男人，怨的是男人，永远永远。没有男人的世界对女人来说多么孤独多么悲哀。
女人离不开男人。男人对于女人是把双刃剑，让女人又爱又恨。
无论是优雅的淑女，粗鄙的俗妇，所求的不过是一个男人，一个心爱的男人。体贴的丈夫，听话的孩子，永远是多数女人心中最美好的家。清晨醒来，在心爱之人的臂弯中，平凡的日子也变的隽永了。甚至在我们数落我们的男人的时候，心中不无小小得意，不相干的人谁耐烦听你责备？
执子之手，与子偕老.，是每一个平凡女子对爱情最美丽的憧憬。
我们来到这里 cn.ChinaLoveMatch.net 是因为这个最美丽的愿望还没有实现。希望这会是一座通向幸福的桥。
希望我能遇上一个好男人。愿天下的好女子 都能遇上个好男人。

In ancient mythology, woman is the rib of man .Chinese writer ,Zhang Xianliang Wrote in his book : “half of man is woman.”

Woman always say man is another being is very different from us woman. What do men want? Have no idea. Actually we don’t need know about men much. It is enough happy for us when we get to know “the man love me“.

Woman always talk how bad the man is, and how quick-change the man. When a man too close to woman, she think he is too flighty; when a man be aloof and stand-offish with a woman, she will blame he is too serious who doesn’t know about romance.

However when we are in love with a man, we embraced the love, just like a flying moth darts into the fire [flame].

When a woman fall in love with man, what she want is the love could last forever. Hundreds years ago, a lady who in love, she wrote a poem for her beloved man:

Oh Heavens high！
I wiil love him forever till I die，
Till mountains crumble，
Rivers run dry，
In winter thunder rumble，
In summer snow fall far and nigh，
And the earth mingle with the sky，
Not till then will love die.

Woman… in her whole life, love a man, hate a man, think about a man, blame a man, always like that. There is a man in the bottom of heart of a woman.

A woman do need a man. A man is a double-blade sword for a woman who make woman love and hate.

Woman is woman: elegant lady, boorish woman, all need a man; a beloved man.

Thoughtful husband, good child is always is beautiful home in woman’s mind. When we wake up from the morning in beloved man’s heart, even a ordinary day will be so great for us. Even when we nitpick our man we will feel elated. If he don’t love you why stand here to listen to you talk too much?

Hold your hands, get old together. This a most beautiful wish of every ordinary woman to her beloved man.

We come here to ChinaLoveMatch.net because the beautiful wish has not yet come true. Wish here will be a bridge to happiness. Wish me meet a good man. And wish all good woman will meet a good man here.
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