I’ve not written for a while - the main reason is that I was travelling a little - the first time I went 'home' in 7 years. It was a strange and surreal experience on so many levels - seeing family, re-meeting friends, catching up with old emotions in old locations. Read more…

An interesting piece of material floated over the Chinese Internet last week, that being Tu Shiyou, the proclaimed ”Goddess of Chastity”. Read more…

It is funny how you can measure progress in something - most people would say that when learning a foreign language, progress should be measured against the number of words you know, or the number of lessons you have mastered or how well you write an exam. But my putonghua (Chinese common language) is mostly self-taught by flailing around in China using language badly, getting help from teachers and friends every now and then for a month or two (but not doing any homework) and listening to others. Read more…

I was watching a young girl and her foreign boyfriend the other day as I was sitting in a bar - as he was pontificating and espousing to her about every topic in China, she was sitting beside him looking intently, smiling and snuggling - obviously not understanding any viewpoint he had (American political history meets global conspiracy theories and China), I couldn't help but notice it was a match made in indifference - well, intellectual indifference anyway, since she understood “hello - goodbye - how are you” English and he understood “another beer - too expensive - hello sexy girl” Chinese. Read more…

I was doing some Internet searches last week - I am creating some brochures for my company so I was looking for happy, smiling portraits of Chinese people. You know, people satisfied with the services I offer, business people in suits that benefit from my limited knowledge, cute girls (without the duck-face pout or the V pose... that’s a hard one!) and handsome boys with slick hair and crisp shirts who become professional corporate ladder-climbers through my assistance... anyway, you get the picture. Read more…

I was feeling a bit under the weather last weekend and decided that a day “on the couch” might be a viable option. I selected a few favourite DVDs and wrapped myself in a few blankets and got comfortable. Read more…

A small piece of trivia crossed my path the other day, a few pictures from the ChengDu Police micro blog of eligible young policemen that may be suitable for 'shedding single status' this year...true, about 10 steely-eyed young men, 24-29 years old, each carrying automatic weapons or in poses of ’rushing to assist’ kittens out of trees and old ladies to cross the road... in full riot gear. It somehow had me giggling! Yes, I know that in other countries they do posters/calendars of semi-naked sports stars or local firemen going buff for charity with a strategically placed high-pressure nozzle over the nether-regions, but I haven't really seen the idea of photographing young men at work with the expressed objective of ’marrying them off’. What next, introducing 5 single farmers of the week on CCTV 4 between the news and weather report? Or Bachelors of the PLA between the pictures of them firing guns and driving tanks? Read more…

My Chinese friend has just bought a car - and I have been reticent to ride in it with her because, to be honest, I am a terrible backseat driver. Now, I don't claim to be an excellent driver - but I have had 20-odd years experience driving cars, trucks, buses, motorbikes, tractors and a multitude of motorized farm equipment, so I have a few years up on my friend (licensed 1 month ago). Read more…

One of my greatest joys when I first came to China was finding Chinglish - that curious mixture of words derived from mechanical translation of Chinese into English. It can be such a treasure - and a great source of entertainment as you try to decipher exactly what is being said such as “Please refrain yourself strictly, keep the flowers on the trees to prove you are a gentleman” (Please don't pick the flowers) and “enjoy the verdure essence from mountaintop scenic vantage not pleasant valley stroll” (Keep off the grass) and the others which are pure oxymoron “slippery when wet ... and dry” and my all-time favourite safety sign “warning, beware of unsafely danger strictlyness”. All of these featured in the Gardens of Suzhou a few years ago - but alas, have faded into obscurity. Read more…

I awoke a few mornings ago to a very startling sight, a pair of legs dangling over the top of my balcony. Read more…